The Interview
by ron-freak
Summary: When Ron is sent by Prof. Dumbledore to interview different people to look for the perfect Head boy/girl! some people might seem OOC...please R/R!!
1. Default Chapter

~What do you do for a living again? ~  
  
When Ron is sent by Prof. Dumbledore to interview different people to look for the perfect Head boy/girl!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Ron is called to Prof. Dumbledore's office to have a little "talk", on his way to the office, Ron thinks to himself " what in the world would he want me for now?! Did I save another person and forget to take my underwear with me?" Ron approaches Dumbledore's office with Prof. McGonagall as she as she declared the password " UNDERWEAR!!"  
  
Ron: underwear?  
  
McGonagall: remember Ron a password is supposed to be something that no one would think of  
  
Ron: yea I know but.why.underwear?  
  
McGonagall: oh just shaddup and go upstairs!!  
  
As Ron climbed the what seemed to be the never-ending staircase he met peeves on the way  
  
Peeves: well well well! If it isn't potty's friend!  
  
Ron: I have my own name you know!  
  
Peeves: aw look I got the little weasel mad!  
  
Ron gave a rude gesture towards the poltergeist. Peeves flies through the ceiling laughing  
  
Ron: I am gonna have to get some of those poltergeist repellents some day!  
  
As soon as Ron approached Dumbledore's office the door immediately swung open. 


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: don't forget to review!!  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Dumbledore: come in my child!  
  
Ron: *whispers to himself* child?  
  
Yes why did you want me sir?  
  
Dumbledore: yes yes yes! I have a job for you-  
  
Ron: what kind of job?  
  
Dumbledore: I was getting to that.anyway I want you to choose this year's head boy/ girl!  
  
Ron: why would you want me to choose this year's head boy/girl?  
  
Dumbledore: because you have taste and the other teachers are not willing to do it for free.and besides I don't want to do it!  
  
Ron: okay..  
  
Dumbledore: and remember choose wisely!  
  
Ron walks out of the room after saying goodbye to Dumbledore  
  
~ Next Day! ~  
  
Ron had posted in the hall massage board that he was choosing this year's head boy/girl! And if anyone thinks they are worthy of becoming one please contact him in the Gryffindor room. Ron is was sitting in the red armchair waiting to come by. Hermionie was walking towards Ron.  
  
Hermionie: I heard.well read that you were choosing the head boy/girl this year Ron: yup.*sigh* that's me 


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: and that whole "*sigh*" thing wasn't suppose to make Ron so proud btw  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Hermionie: well then.I think I am worthy enough to be head girl! So interview me!  
  
Ron: oh common I can't-  
  
Hermionie: INTERVIEW ME!!  
  
Ron: *scared* alright..so Hermionie.why do you think you are worthy of being head girl?  
  
Hermionie: well lets see I am smart, beautiful, cute, etc.  
  
Ron thinks to him self "man! when did she think she was beautiful and cute?" and at the same time writes down :  
  
Is full of herself Needs a new hairstyle Needs a life  
  
Hermionie: what are you writing down?  
  
Ron: oh nothing just that you are really good and stuff!  
  
Hermionie gives a sweet smile  
  
Hermionie: any other question?  
  
Ron: do you like Harry Potter?  
  
Hermionie responds carelessly with out thinking " of course I do! He is handsome needs a little help in knowledge but is really good at kissing! Wait- HEY!!  
  
Hermionie runs away to her dorm embarrassed saying, " your so hurtful!!" (A/N: like in Moody's point)  
  
Ron thinks to himself " HA!! I knew she liked him.I didn't know they had a thing going on though! Ooh look an ant!  
  
Ron yells after at Hermionie: HA I knew you liked him!!! HAHAHAHA  
  
Ron's first interview has been complete.not what he expected but yea! A few hours later. 


	4. Chapter 3

A/N: yea yea yea the same song and dance don't forget to review  
  
Ron's first interview was.sort of a success.who will he interview next?!  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Ron: where the bloody hell did everyone go?!  
  
Take a wild guess who comes next! That's right folks its HHHAAARRRYYY PPPOOOTTTEERRR!!  
  
Harry: what ya doing?  
  
Ron: *grits teeth* trying to get some bloody people to give a bloody interview to choose the bloody boy/girl!!  
  
Harry: wow Ron everything in your life seems so bloody.anyway I wanna be head boy/girl!  
  
Ron: you mean you wanna be interviewed to be head boy?  
  
Harry: isn't that what I said?  
  
Ron: *gives uneasy look* sure.you.did  
  
Harry: *in a valley girl accent* YAY! Lets like start!!  
  
Ron: *gives another uneasy look and scoots his chair back* okay Harry.if that's your real name..why do you think you should be head boy?  
  
Harry: boy/girl!  
  
Ron thinks to himself " either he has gone insane or he is trying to tell me something I should have known before I became friends with him!"  
  
Ron: okay then.boy/girl  
  
Harry: well lets see I am smart, cute, handsome, I save everyone, and Dumbledore adores me!! *girly laugh* get it Dumbledore and adore?  
  
Harry starts laughing at his joke in a hysterical manner. Ron is starting to get really freaked out and thinks to himself " I think its both of the options"  
  
Ron: *gives an uneasy laugh* hee hee yea real funny.I think  
  
Harry: *stops laughing* okay next!  
  
Ron: if you were head boy-  
  
Harry: boy/girl  
  
Ron: boy/girl.who would you want to be head girl?  
  
Harry thinks to himself " I didn't know there was another boy/girl in Hogwarts?! I must defeat them!! Ooh look an ant!"  
  
Harry: uhhh.. Herm-I-on-ie  
  
Ron: lemmie ask you something...is there a "thing between you and Hermionie? Cuz I really need to know what's going on!"  
  
Harry gives a stupid look " uhhh...yea!  
  
Ron smacks head "that's all I need to know..anyway *sigh* how responsible do you think you are for this "job"  
  
Harry: well responsible enough to save people on time and ooooo look an ant!  
  
Ron: I already noticed tha-  
  
Harry: wait what do you mean by "job"?  
  
Ron: well its like a job.Harry you know what I mean! Remember all the other years!  
  
Harry: so your saying this is a job?  
  
Ron: yes.I mean no  
  
Harry while picking his nose: so it is a job?  
  
Ron: YES!!! ALRIGHT IT'S A JOB!!  
  
Harry: then say so.*sighs* well I'm going.bye! Ron: but I am not done!  
  
Harry: so? I have a date with Lavender!  
  
Ron: then why'd you say you had a thing with Hermionie?  
  
Harry: cuz I do  
  
Ron: and Lavender?  
  
Harry gives an evil grin then growls. Ron gives him a sick look  
  
Ron: say no more you can leave  
  
Harry walks away  
  
A/N: I know kinda sick but I tried to make Harry stupid.. i don't think that worked. 


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 5  
  
Ron has finished one successful interview and one sick yet amusing to some interview..(A/N: that didn't make sense did it?)  
  
Ron: when will some bloody people come?!  
  
Neville walks by  
  
Ron: NEVILLE GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE!!  
  
Neville walks over to Ron quivering  
  
Neville: wh-wh-wh-at do you want R-R-Ron?  
  
Ron in an exasperated way: I-need-some-people-to-interview-for-head- boy/girl!!  
  
Neville: then why do you want me?  
  
Ron smacks head: because I want to interview you to be head boy!!  
  
Ron thinks to himself " how did people suddenly get stupid?!  
  
Neville: oh I don't think-  
  
Ron: SHADDUP AND SIT DOWN!!  
  
Neville immediately sits down  
  
Ron clams down: now.. Neville.why would you like to be head boy?  
  
Neville: I already told you I don't want-  
  
Ron: answer the question!  
  
Ron gives rude gesture towards Neville Neville: oh dear! (A/N: oh dear? lol well I did write it.kinda lame) okay lets see um.I am good at.well nothing.  
  
Ron: sure you are.just think of something!  
  
Neville: *blink* alright.um lemmie think  
  
Two hours later: Ron has killed the so-called ant Neville has picked all the boogers out of his nose and done who knows what with them!! (A/N: you can call me evil for the sick thought or just sick ()  
  
Ron: alright lets go to the next question.*sigh* oh never mind just go away  
  
Neville runs away whooping  
  
Ron glares at him still he is out of sight  
  
~The Next Day~  
  
Ron is on his way to Prof. Dumbledore's office  
  
Ron: what in the world did I do to get chosen for this *mumbles some bad words* job?  
  
Ron: reaches the door and opens it  
  
Ron: Prof. Dumbledore.I cant do this job.everyone that wants to be interviewed is..well stupid beyond reason!!  
  
Dumbledore: well then keep looking! Now get out my hairstylist should be here any minute!  
  
Ron: hair stylist?  
  
Dumbledore: I know sort of a muggle thing you say.but its quite nice the way they cut hair.  
  
Ron: you.getting a hair cut?  
  
Dumbledore: is there something wrong with it *pulls out wand*  
  
Ron in a fast forward way : no nothing wrong have a nice cut bye!!  
  
Ron closes the door and sighs.  
  
Ron: well its back to the common room! 


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 6  
  
Ron is sitting in the same place.well sitting  
  
Ron: where is everyone?  
  
Draco walks by  
  
Ron: how did you get in here Malfoy?  
  
Draco: I have a first name too  
  
Ron: okay DRACO!  
  
Draco: Neville told me about the interview thing so I decided to check it out and see what lame questions you have  
  
Ron: I don't care about that but where did you get the password is what I meant  
  
Draco: oh that.. *gives evil grin* lets just say Neville wanted to tell me something!  
  
Ron: you mean you threatened it out of him?!  
  
Draco: well.yea pretty much!  
  
Ron: how could you? Oh well who cares just don't go near my bed and I advise you don't try to go in the girls dorms either.. that last steps a doosy! Believe me I tried in the fifth year..not pleasant!  
  
Draco: don't worry why would I want to go near your bed? And us Slythren's have girls and boys dorms too!  
  
Ron: what does it do when you try to climb up?  
  
Draco: oh there's the pit of snakes and stuff  
  
Ron's bottom jaw drops: really all it does for us is the stairs turn into a slide!  
  
Draco: Snape was right you Gryffindor's are weak minded  
  
Ron: okay I am just gonna pretend that never happened..now on with the questions  
  
Ron thinks to himself " wow this one seems okay..i pray I get good answers!" alright Draco....why do you want to be head boy?  
  
Draco: because I get a room to myself with hopefully a good head girl! *Gives evil grin* and I can boss you and potty around and-  
  
Ron: that's enough.okay next question.who would you like to be head girl?  
  
Draco: definitely not mud blood Granger!  
  
Suddenly the sneak scope near Draco starts to spin wildly!  
  
Ron gives a smile: I think you do  
  
Draco gives a weak chuckle: hee.hee well.. ALL RIGHT fine I admit it!! Now weasel promise me you will not tell a soul! Or you will have another backfiring wand!!  
  
Ron: All right! Blackmail!!  
  
Draco in slow motion: NoooooOOOOOoooooOOOOO  
  
Ron in slow motion: MUHAWHAWHAWHAWHAW!!!  
  
Draco: fine what do you want?  
  
Ron: first of all stop calling me weasel, second of all you are now my slave!  
  
Echoes in Draco's mind: you are you are now my now my SLAVE SLAVE!!  
  
Draco: *thinks for a moment then sighs* alright fine  
  
Ron: now with the next question my little dumpling! *evil cackle*  
  
Draco: are you gay?  
  
Ron: no..don't push me...i will hurt you  
  
Draco: what are you going to do huh? Try to make me eat slugs again?  
  
Ron: that's it *ZAP!!!*  
  
A few minutes later Ron: now Malfoy.lets continue with the questions shall we?  
  
A white bouncing ferret was.well bouncing in front of him  
  
Draco: yes *bounce* master *bounce*  
  
Ron: that's better! Now for the next question! *reading off cue-card* Draco- is- what? This isn't what I wrote as one of the questions!!  
  
Draco: *bounce* hee hee *bounce*  
  
Ron: Draco you little weasel!! (A/N: lol get it? Wait no it doesn't work..Draco is a ferret and Ron said weasel.okay ill shut up now.)  
  
Draco: correction *bounce* ferret!  
  
Ron: this isn't even a question!! It's a statement!!  
  
Draco: read *bounce* the *bounce* damn *bounce* question!!  
  
Ron: alright next cue card! I mean question..why is ron..I AM NOT-  
  
Draco: *bounce* calm *bounce* down *bounce* Ronnie!  
  
Ron: you call me that again ill make you a bouncing ferret that is going to be eaten!!  
  
Draco: then *bounce* you *bounce* wouldn't *bounce* have *bounce* any one *bounce* to interview *bounce*  
  
Ron: your right.. hmmmmm? *throws away cue card that Draco provided* alright I will make up the next question so shaddup and sit down!!  
  
Draco: I *bounce* cant *bounce* remember! *bounce* some *bounce* idiot *bounce* known as *bounce* Ron *bounce* turned me *bounce* into a *bounce* BOUNCING *bounce* FERRIT!!  
  
Ron: true.*ZAP!!!*  
  
~a few second later~  
  
Draco: why am I naked?!!!! Ron give me clothes this minute!!! (A/N: okay now you can call me sick)  
  
Ron: tee hee.alright *ZAP!!*  
  
~A few seconds later~ Ron: there  
  
Draco is sitting there with a red nose and tacky clothes  
  
Ron: see I gave you clothes!!  
  
Draco: its better than being a bouncing ferret or naked.. next question  
  
Ron: hey only I can say that!! Next question.uhhh...wanna go eat lunch?  
  
Draco: sure.wait lemmie change first  
  
Ron: okay  
  
Draco leaves the portrait  
  
Ron: hee hee hee I am sooooo evil!! Those clothes wont come off of him till everyone in the school has seen them!!! I just loooove jinxes!!  
  
Draco comes back  
  
Ron: back so soon?  
  
Draco: why you little-  
  
Ron: tsk tsk tsk you have already forgotten who own you! Don't push it ferret boy!  
  
Draco stomps out of the portrait once again  
  
Ron follows laughing  
  
This interview is now over...i think..oh yea its over stay tuned for the next interview!! Who will Ron interview next? Will it be his father? His mother? Or his toe? (A/N: toe?) 


	7. chapter 7

Last interview Ron interviewed the handsome (A/N: EW I cant believe I just said that! Well I don't mean it! Hee hee)  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Scene: Ron is still sitting in the Gryffindor common room  
  
Ron: oh god this is terrible!!! So far the only mature person well mature person meaning the closest to normal is..is..is..MALFOY!!! *slow motion* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... Oh well it doesn't matter.but it is pretty scary!  
  
Suddenly! Lucius Malfoy, the father of Draco Malfoy (A/N: gee I would have never guessed!) climbs through the Gryffindor window.collapses on the floor.Ron walks over to him and says: first of all why did you come through the window? Second of all why are you in the Gryffindor common room.. wait if its to destroy one of us Gryffindor's then don't answer that.. And lastly why are you out of breath?  
  
Lucius: firstly *mocking Ron* I came through the window because I obviously cant come through the portrait because I obviously don't have the password! And-  
  
Ron: you know you could have just asked Draco.he well lets just say Neville had to tell him something  
  
Lucius: oh really? Well lets get back to the point..and lastly I was being chased by Dumbledore with a cane!  
  
Ron: what happened to the second thing?  
  
Lucius: you said not to answer it if I wanted to destroy of you Gryffindor's so I didn't answer it.  
  
Ron: please don't destroy me  
  
Lucius: okay  
  
Ron: and isn't Dumbledore getting his hair done?  
  
Lucius: well yea that's part of it..see..i went in his office and I found this very interesting *makes a weird face* lady with him supposedly doing his hair..and then I laughed at him.and well he ran after me with his cane and now I am here  
  
Ron: why a cane? Doesn't he have a wand?  
  
Lucius grins and holds up a wand that is not his (A/N: hint hint)  
  
Ron: you stole his wand? (A/N: gee I wonder?)  
  
Lucius: yes you fool what does it look like?  
  
Ron: like you teased his Dumbledore and stole his wand?  
  
Lucius: *blink*  
  
Ron: Dumbledore has a cane?  
  
Lucius: his back up weapon  
  
Ron: okay.anyway hey do you want to be interviewed for head boy?  
  
Lucius: well its sort of late for me to be head boy..  
  
Ron gives a puppy dog pout (A/N: that is so not Ron)  
  
Lucius: okay all right.Gimmie your best question!  
  
What will happen next? Will Lucius cooperate? Will he get caught? Will..well I dunno what else to say so lets leave it like that...keep reading..there are more chapters coming up if it hasn't been uploaded! 


End file.
